Uncancelled at Last
Cancellation feels like a deep pit of despair. Over the four years since I was labelled racist, classist, and ableist—the critiques from sensitivity readers of my memoir Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me—I believe I've moved through every stage of it.
At first, the shame was so overwhelming that I avoided going outside, shrinking into walls and slipping through the streets. Then, as I resumed normal behavior, I developed what I think of as Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED).
This condition follows me like an anxious dog, whining constantly, marking every corner, settling on my lap whenever I drink, and either barking at kind strangers or slavishly licking their hands. Although you're advised not to feed it, sometimes fate tosses it a bone.
For example, when two friends removed my name from their prize-winning books’ acknowledgements, my PTED howled so loudly it woke the neighbors.
This year, I steeled myself, got off the chair where I’d been hiding for years, and even painted my study yellow. The BBC invited me for a podcast interview—I didn’t flinch. I realized I could be a valuable voice in the culture wars debate.
Later, I was invited to join a panel and lead school workshops. Slowly, I began to feel more like myself again.
“I think this is the last stage of cancellation.”
Author’s summary: After years of despair and isolation following cancellation, the author finds resilience, reengages publicly, and regains a sense of self amid ongoing culture debates.